| Monday, August 17 |
|
Past two weeks had been pretty mundane. I guess going out every single day for the last month or so was takin its toll on me and I decided to take a break and have some Me Time. Anyways darling Amanda was out of town the last two weekends. So was Porridge. And Yahui was busy with her GMAT (congrats btw! :D). Alas, it was kinda sad to discover that I still can't exactly deal with Me Time. I used to treasure such times alot. I enjoyed the freedom and independence, to roam around town on my own, enjoying my books or music when I'm alone on the bus or train. Now, it simply leaves me time to think. And remember. Which I'm trying desperately to avoid at all cost. And people wonder why my memory is bad. It is. It wasn't. Some things can be conditioned. To forget unhappy times, the easiest way is simply to stop thinking about them. And when you stop thinking or recalling, they would hardly get transferred to your long term memory. Then, they're almost gone. Almost. Porridge asked me a question recently. "Tell me about your childhood". [Silence]. A question I found difficult to answer. I can bearly recall. Which tells you alot about my childhood. And there had been occasional gaps in my life. Maybe I should be getting used to them. Haa. My stand - If I matter enough to you and you to me, you will make it into my future memories. Ones that I won't intentionally try to forget. And once again I learn, that if you don't allow yourself to be close to others and to rely on them, you won't face any disappointments. And disappointment is the last thing I need in my life now. |